World of Weedbeam Lore

 

Middle Earth:
Middle Earth is the "central" continent in the World of Weedbeam. It is both modern and ancient, mythological and logical, strange yet ordinary. It is a world of many contrasts. Modern middle Earth is dominated by the Chimera races. To stave off a long and deadly war, the clans organized into the current political system. There are 6 major Chimera clan. There are 5 major provinces, and 5 major capital cities, each dominated by one of the clans/races. As of the 6th clan? They wanted no part in the political dealings of the others, and largely isolated, remain mysterious, fuck. Currently the land is at peace and the system appears to be working.

Time:
Day and night, week, month, and year. There is nothing unusual about the passage of time in Middle Earth for the most part. The sun rises and it sets. The moon comes out, and disappears as the sun rises. The years are organized into a cycle of 6, each which celebrates one of the clans/races. It is currently the year of the Bear all across Middle Earth. 

Ontopolis:
Ontopolis is the capital city of the bear race clan, also known as the Clan of the Swollen Tits (There is no reasonable explanation for the naming of the alternative clan names. It's ancient, just go with it, ok). It is a modern and rich port city in the south. Many events take place throughout Middle Earth. It being the year of the bear, many events are scheduled to take place this year in Ontopolis and surrounding areas. Ontopolis is surrounded by fertile coastlands, farming villages, the ocean and a huge sea trading network, mountains, costal crags, forest, swamps. In the north some distance in, the land has become grey, dull, sepia in appearance, cursed by the king of Long Forgotten Castle in his attempt to take over neighboring lands. The land is still very fertile farmland. It's just very bland. It has been like that for some time though. It will take many years to recover. 

It appears as though at least part of the land of the bear clan may have once been known as Eternia. How far this extends is unknown.

Eternia:
Not much is known. Castle Greyskull appears to be located in an area mapped out as Small Farming Town, though clearly there is no town there. The sole resident of the castle is Sorceress Teela-Na. Eternia is ancient. Greyskull appears to pose no threat. It's been there for ages.


Gunther:
Just outside of Ontopolis rests the small village of Gunther, which was a well known den of thieves if you ask me. It got burned to the ground. Werewolves and zombies.


Yourmum:
Yourmum is a village that rests on the borderlands between the Ontopian province and the province in the forest and mountains to the North, whose capital is called Long Forgotten Castle.

Long Forgotten Castle:
Cursed twice by the same witch, this once grand castle city and forested kingdom has all but disappeared from the map and peoples memories twice. The city is...was run by a cold hearted and angry king whose personal choices caused him great misery and he took it out on everyone. Isolation wasn't enough for this bitter king, going so far as to declare a silent war on his neighboring kingdom and spreading his misery, and thus curse, abroad. For where the cursed one spreads his wings, his cursed shadow follows.
Long Forgotten Castle is home to the wolf clan, or also known as the Mario Clan. Again, don't try to explain the alternative clan names. Just go with it. Wolves are ancient enemies of the bears. The peace brokered by the two was fragile to begin with.

Grandpa Gohan's House:
Between Yourmum and Long Forgotten castle nestled away in a forest is this tiny little cabin inhabited by a tiny old man who is unusually strong.

Pirates Cove:
Many ships have been sunk here after many a battle between the law abiding and the law breaking. After a while, so much timber and parts existed and built up over the ocean floor a sprawling dock city was built in the ruin. Surrounding the cove are many beaches and tall cliffs where it is rumored many treasures are stored or buried, and booby trapped. It's just a rumor though, right?

Kame House:
Near pirates cove, it's the home to the martial arts master Roshi, a huge friggin' perv!

Super Mario World/Nintendo Land:
A cartoonish surreal unusual world filled with strange men, weird creatures such as Pokémon and Yoshi's, and unusual and cartoonish items. This place appears to be defacto ruled or governed over by a mystical man named Mario who is either a really good guy or a total dictator. There are also other mythical creatures such as Vampires. Who knows what else!

The Mad Mage's Mansion:
This labyrinthine home belongs to the one and only Harry Potter, who has gone absolutely insane. The house has been rebuilt but a dragon pretty much tore a hole through its asshole and the mountain it rested upon. Harry is still mad from years of inhaling sleeping dragon's breath.


New York City circa early 2016:
A very familiar world with all the modern amenities. The United States is abuzz with word that Donald J. Trump has announced his bid for Republican nominee to run for President of the United States. People bide their spare time playing tabletop role playing games in basements with their friends. No big deal.


New York City circa the mid 1980's:
The sewers are bigger and house more hobos. That's about all we learned.


San Francisco circa the mid 1980's:
Drugs and an aids pandemic and a very politically active gay community. Cindi Lauper songs and Kurt Russell video cassette tapes, and cool guys don't look at explosions.


Avalon:
The mythical isle of fairy folk, home to the Queen of Fairies and the fairy kind. The isle is shrouded, always, in a mystical  mist that makes it entirely invisible to the mainland. There are three ways to the island:  Troll infested bridges and isles that are connected to the mainland, and boat, if you know what you're looking for, and by invite, which usually involves death, if you are of interest to the fairy folk.

Camelot:
The land of legendary Monarch Arthur supported by his trusted sorcerer Merlin and many knights. It is a place of contention of power, were Arhur and his allies continue to struggle against Morgan LaFay and her fundamentalist cult of muggle cullers. After a battle with a dragon, this city lay largely in rubble. In it's Golden Age it was a thriving center for magic, potions, and engineering. Did I mention Arthur is a zombie?

The Crypt:
Home to who else but the Crypt Keeper and a lot of dead people. This is one of the possible way stops after death, and if the adventure had is any indication, a place for self discovery and education, as well as wacky adventure and pussy...I mean stories galore!

King Kai's Planet:
Another possible way stops after death. Here King Kai will offer you training to help you grow big and strong or learn a new technique - if you can spank his monkey first. No seriously you gotta take a large mallet, and thump on a pet monkey named Bubbles, who runs away from you in a 10x Earth's gravity environment.

Korin Tower:
Home to the powerful Korin, a martial arts master, and above him, the Guardian of Middle Earth, who frankly has done a shitty job, what with the dragon and the violence and the monsters and all.

Trump Tower Middle Earth:
This is located in the ass hole of Middle Earth, a fiery red volcanic region that even dragons avoid. It's a giant magical wall with a great big tower in its core. The wall is people... Angels, weeping angels to be exact.

Saiban Ruins:
Unusual ancient pyramid ruins dot this landscape just beyond the Trump wall. The pyramids are home to sleeping giant mechs that are supposedly made in America, but not really.

Valley Hill:
A very nondescript medieval town. It used to have an inn....and then it did again!

Christmas Town:
Near Valley Hill is an unusual forest guarded by unusual spirits. There within are unusual trees with unusual doors. These lead to unusual portals to unusual worlds. Christmas town happens to be behind the Christmas Tree door. Go Figure. Home to Santa and his elves, surrounded by parkland and a host of other Christmas... fiends.

Papaya Island:

Just off the coast near Valley Hill is Papaya Island, ancient and modern home to the World Martial Arts Tournament, a sometimes-held tournament to determine the strongest fighters in Middle Earth! Other than that monks live there year round and pretty much plan for the martial arts tournaments. It's pretty much the only economic driver. 

Liberal Township:
A college town dominated by a massive university campus and a whole lot of pubs, because that's what college kids do - drink themselves happy. The university contains in its hallowed halls the prestigious (not so prestigious, more like ignored, shunned, and underfunded) department of paranormal research headed by Dr. Peter Venkman and colleagues. Anyhow, there is something really morbid and dark about this town and only a handful of people seem to notice, or care. 

 

Journal

 

After being tricked and robbed by a magician at a show during the festival for the Year Of The Bear new years celebration in Ontopolis, and told by a strange gypsy psychic that we were destined to travel the same path, we coalesced as a team.

We heard rumors that there were strange beasts, "cursed ones" roaming about in the north grey country, damaging buildings and killing people. We headed up there. We weren't alone. A team of 9 others tried to stop us from leaving Ontopolis with violence. We killed them. They had been offered a "reward" to capture or kill the beasts in the North? Sounds good.

We discovered Castle Greyskull and Teela-Na's magic school.

We discovered that Gunther had been attacked and burned to the ground. One of us was from there, had been there only days prior, and all was fine. All the people appear to have vanished or perhaps been killed. A stranger with a wheelbarrow full of shoes, perhaps feet still in shoes?, ran off into the woods as we questioned him.

We killed the guy with the shoes. He was a werewolf pup (new werewolf). He had attacked Gunther.

We stayed at the hotel in Yourmum to rest after our previous days adventure, and were invited to a musical concert by the artist known as Prince. There, Prince tried to assassinate us with music, lethal magical music. We had to kill his ass. He had a letter  on him linking him to a hired hit against us by a person who goes by B and has a rose as a letter head. Following clues, we head north to determine who is trying to kill us and maybe why.

We arrived at Grandpa Gohan's martial arts school where we were fed and sheltered. Shortly after departing we arrived upon a fork in the road and took the darker path at the advice of everyone who said it was safer.


Long Forgotten Castle was up the road. It was just that, long and forgotten. After some exploration of the mostly empty castle, we were forced into a confrontation with its king, a giant cursed beast angry at the loss of his wife (to feline aids which he had transmitted). He couldn't be reasoned with, and, we assume, needed to be put out of his misery. His curse was spreading to not only his lands, but lands far and wide, raising up undead hordes and turning ordinary citizens into beasts and the like. At least, this is what we were told by the Ontopolis government and their leader Bearston Churchill who swooped in when we had the beast on his knees to finish the job. Only time will tell if indeed there was a curse to be lifted, or if this was a shady assassination. To be fair, the beast had little remorse, and seemed only to want to fight or die as was. And we did arrive at the beast on our own terms, not knowing a thing about the plot to assassinate until the deed had been done.

We were informed that we had interfered with and killed the original strike team hired to do the job (the 9 persons outside Ontopolis, woops!) in an altercation, and were instead given the mercenaries' reward for bringing the Beast to justice. Bearston Churchill offered us a job to remain on retainer to work for the Ontopolis government in the future. We accepted for the time being. He said we'd be in touch. Though he seems genuine, its hard to know who to trust in governments these days....

Back in Ontopolis, the 23rd Decennial Guild Competition was under way. Here guilds compete with one another for points to receive prestige and a big reward. We were strongly compelled by our respective guilds to join. This for the first time since we met pits us against one another. The competition is in parts. The first part ends up being a race to recover the jeweled and mystical eye of a pirate called Bootstrap Bill before any other guild.

Before the competition begins a fight breaks out in a nearby tavern we went to. In the confusion a number of us were separated from the others. It was strange. This isn't the only fight however. The following day we are assailed by the 9 goblins we had stolen a government job from and beaten to death earlier in the week. They had been resurrected somehow and were seeking blood. We beat the piss out of them again, this time letting some of them live, and stole a treasure map that could come in handy.

The next day we head out to the docks where we learned that we'd be separated into teams based on magic and non magic use, and put either on a path on land or path on a ship by sea. The destination is the same. We set out on our respective journey's. The magic users end up aboard a ship which travels a short time before being stopped by a huge pirate vessel. Fortunately for us, and also unfortunately, before we are boarded and robbed and left to die in the ocean on small emergency rafts, the pirate ship is attacked by the Kraken and dragged into the sea. It isn't long before our ship is also assailed however. After a fierce fight, we barely escape with our lives, and our ship, which is heavily damaged and drifting out to sea. Our other team didn't fare much better. They forged their way along rough terrain until reaching an abandoned tavern, where they were assaulted by the Fratelli brother's and their notorious mother, known gangsters in the region, and also powerful trolls with powerful troll magic. During the fight one of us mysteriously lost their life. Scorbono burst into flame from the inside and became a puddle of ash mid battle. It was the first death. Both Fratelli brothers were eventually defeated, however Mama Fratelli immediately began casting a spell to resurrect them. We didn't stick around to see what happened. We headed into the basement of the Tavern to seek hiding.
Now here's where things got strange. Our party on land encountered a strange glowing mushroom and a loud voice encouraging them to eat it. Our sea team hit a large metallic sewer pipe sticking out of the sea and a loud voice encouraged them to enter it. Oddly enough, we all did. Where we arrived was colorful, unusual, cartoonish. A man named Mario, who didn't seem quite right, told us we had to go seek treasure and adventure, and abandoned us with unclear instructions. As we wandered we did indeed find treasure, and living creatures called Pokémon who wished to help us, and other creatures. As the cartoonish sun set, we came upon a dark and mysterious castle. When we reached the door to open it we were assaulted by a Vampire named Dracula. It took all of us but we eventually subdued the beast and slew it. Not before he bit one of us though. At this point Mario returned to us, said more cryptic creepy shit, and send up a mist over us.  What a strange man.

Meanwhile in "heaven", Scorbono met up with a King Kai at the end of Snake Way and trained his ass off and became stronger. He was then mysteriously resurrected, probably a by-product of the troll magic being cast on the Fratellis.

When the mist cleared, we were back where we were before the hallucination. In fact we would have sworn it was a hallucination except for the fact that our backpacks were a little heavier and one of us had a Pokémon with him. On the ship, we were taking on water and came to a sudden halt when our ship sank just off shore of a small island. The island only had one house, painted with the words Kame House, and one occupant, lecherous  martial arts master Roshi. After a brief stay, Master Roshi managed to summon hundreds of turtles to create a path for us back to shore on their shells, or our intended target, the abandoned ship of One Eyed Bootstrap Bill, or Willy. The way was fraught with perils - pirate rogues, sea monstrosities, sharp large jutting rocks, even the Kraken made another appearance and began dining on turtles.  



Meanwhile the other team entered the depths of the Tavern. Scorbono strayed from the others, got locked in a bathroom with an Apache Shit Demon, and after a long and strange and horrifying battle, with a lot of luck, he managed to kill the beast and escape out a window where upon learning of the reward on the Fratelli family he opted to try to cash in. Covered in shit, however, he barely made it into the police station before being thrown out in disgust and virtually ignored. The rest went on a perilous journey through caves and crannies, avoiding and setting off booby-traps, being cursed by vengeful fairy gods for stealing money from wishing wells, solving musical puzzles. At the end it was a mad dash race across turtle shells for the ship of One Eyed Willy against not just the other team but additional teams who had found the final target. One of us, Damian, was the second to die, dashed against some sharp rocks with no thanks to a crushed foot from an earlier booby-trap.

The first team to reach the ship after all was said and done was the magic wielding ship team. There, after some slick negotiations with the undead pirate lord, we were allowed to have the jeweled eye and thus won the first leg of the guild competition. Just then another one of us mysteriously burst into flames from the inside and so our third death had occurred - to Lydia Green. As it turned out Azrael, our local devourer of souls and lover of fluffy things, had been casting a death curse upon members of his team in order to attain powerful dark magics from demonic entities that demanded humanoid sacrifices.  And so that mystery resolved, thus this leg of our journey had ended.


The second leg of the guild competition came in the form of a labyrinth of sorts. The goal: enter the Mad Mage's (Harry Potter all growed up) mansion deep in the north woods and come out alive, with a dragon orb. Each room was filled with riddles and traps, and it didn't help that the mad mage had intoxicated everyone with a potion that could help or hinder. A team of two, the thief and the ghostbuster, managed to make it out alive in the end with the orb after eating some rather nasty treats to do so.  However some tomfoolery by the mad mage coupled with the clumsiness of the necromancer caused a catastrophic chain of events that lead to the awakening of a great and terrible ancient dragon, a dragon so massive it destroyed the mountain as it clamoured out of its sleep dwelling deep beneath the earth. We did learn, however, that the noxious dragon fumes was what was causing the mad mage to go mad. Mystery solved!

...But then all hell broke loose, the dragon wrought a path of destruction across the land and the scar cut a swath right down the middle of Ontopolis, which was utterly destroyed. In desperation the Ontopolian leader Bearston Churchill summoned our heroes forth and sent them on a great quest: To retrieve the ancient weapons needed to defeat the dragon, because lets face it the dragon was just too massive and powerful to defeat alone. In fact the entire Ontopolian army was crushed, and wizards and warriors from everywhere were dying like flies assaulting a really angry Andre The Giant.

The first amulet was found in another time in another place. So, to get there required the use of a time traveller and his police box. Arriving in 2016 New York City, our heroes met for the first time the relatively obscure BUT IMPORTANT WeedBeam who coincidentally was hosting a Dungeons and Dragons night in his basement, with a very famous guest, Donald J Trump. In a fit of, well, common immaturity, Trump denounced the new arrivals and began an attack upon them...using his D&D character, an event Weedbeam happily played out for them as DM. Upon Trump's defeat, he stormed off into the streets vowing that everything was dumb, and he was going to be yuge, and stuff like that. After retrieving the first weapon, an amulet with the image of a whale upon it, our heroes next embarked on a quest deep into the sewers because...you know...Weedbeam said so to find the next.

However it didn't take long for the heroes to realize they were in the were in the wrong time. After a transport back to the early 1980's our heroes began their descent into the hobo filled land of New York sewers circa 1980. As they traversed the maze of paths, they were assailed by clay-like creatures and clay filled animals. The mystery was further unsolved when they came across a phallic shaped bomb and determined the leader of the clay creatures was a giant slab of Christmas poo, covered in more gross 1980's New York sewers poo. This shit demon, Mr Hanky, put up his best fight, but was no match for rising water levels and eventually washed out, leaving behind the second weapon, a medallion with a scorpion image upon it. Two weapons were now recovered.

Our team, itching to get home and find the rest of the weapons, however, was denied travel by the resident time lord, and a time travelling senile seniors citizen in a Delorean, and thus waited patiently for 2 minutes until a third vehicle arrived: The Porkchop Express, heading directly into the  heart of 1980's San Francisco.
The trip to San Francisco was....rocky to say the least. The first attack came from a jacked up Kimmy Gibbler, infected with mystery clay and wearing poisonous green armour and claws, before even leaving the Prokchop Express. Welcome to San Francisco, hey.  Once in San Francisco, Jack Burton parked his truck in China Town and demanded payment for the damage. We gambled, which introduced us to the wing Kong Exchange, Chinese mafia. We weren't there long before the market erupted in a tong war between the Wing Kong and the Chang Sing. Slaughtering both sides seemed like the only logical option. It turned out the Wing Kong were in fact mysterious clay replicants, much like Gibbler, and the creatures in New York sewers. The Chang Sing were, well, flesh and blood. OK, so we murdered some people. Whoops! But then the Three Storms appeared: Thunder, Rain, and Lightning; powerful warriors who could not be defeated by conventional means. We enlisted the help of a local Chinese sorcerer and restaurant owner, Egg Shen, who provided us some tools and a means to enter the Wing Kong Exchange to complete our mission and take out Chinese sorcerer David Lo Pan. Through this mission we were able to recover the Bear Medallion, as well as discover what these super weapons are truly capable of, obliterating Lo Pan and his henchmen.

One of our members, the goblin's,  lives hung in the balance due to a mysterious illness that turned out to be vampirism.

We were hastily retreated from San Francisco by a very dickish Time Lord and returned to Middle Earth, but not just any part of Middle Earth: the hidden isle of Avalon, home to the fairy queen. She welcomed us rather rudely and employed us rather hastily to recover something she had recently lost in the catacombs beneath her castle: the legendary King Arthur himself, who had run away from her at the behest of the mage Merlin, as their kingdom on the mainland, Camelot, was in peril from his wicked half sister Morgan Le Fay, a cruel sorceress whose ideology involved slaying all non magic users AKA muggles. Arthur, as it turns out, was already deceased, and zombified. We found Merlin first in the catacombs, and with his help found Arthur, as well as another fabled legendary weapon, the bat medallion, which we had to remove from the body of Ivan Ooze, a terrible and annoying creature made from once again this mystical clay we have been finding everywhere; and rather assassin-like, Merlin also lobbed off the fairy queen's head for us and recovered the butterfly medallion. We also managed to find the legendary Holy Grail, a relic that grants life to the recently deceased. After escaping the catacombs we made a B-Line for Middle Earth but got stuck having to cross the troll islands and their many bridges. The first bridge was guarded by a very maternal troll who mistook us for its offspring. The second bridge was guarded by a troll who would not let us pass unless we were able to answer its questions. The third bridge was guarded by a bush creature. The fourth bridge was guarded by a very hospital troll who invited us to a troll feast.... worms and bugs.... yum! The fifth bridge was merely incomplete and one of us, the changeling bear, took up the mantle of a Minecrafter to cross it. We arrived, with some casualties, upon Middle Earth once again.

We did not escape entirely unscathed. The thief was betrothed to the rotten corpse of zombie King Arthur, and the fairy stoner was possessed by a very, very, very annoying spirit of the catacombs of Avalon.  The death of the corgi changeling caused a chain reaction from which a necromancer burst forth from its furry chest ushering in the return of the necromancer, who now possessed the dragon medallion and the powers that accompany a dragon lord.

We arrived in Camelot...or what used to be Camelot. It seeed to have been ravaged by the dragon. We got the information we needed to proceed on our quest North towards a volcanic place where it was said the dragons resided. As we travelled we came upon a giant skyward tower that reached into the heavens. Some of us chose to climb it. others of us waited in the catacombs we discovered beneath the tower. The tower was the home of Korin, a martial arts master, and Kami, the purported guardian of the Earth, who obviously was doing a shit job! Some of us received training. In the catacombs we discovered an entire dragon city full of dragons that were fed up with the large cannibalistic dragon that was consuming everyone and everything including dragons (that is how dragons gain power). They offered us a ride north. Our dragon rides took off hastily after telling us they could go no further.. And rightly so. We were immediately assailed.
After the defeat of Trump, where we learned he could shift back and forth in time because he was a time lord (maybe this isn't over yet?) we journeyed on in our Zords until we came upon the den of the beast, a giant crater in which rested a 12,000 foot Dragon God. So we did what any good thinking people would do: We let him swallow one of us while the others of us kept him busy. To be fair it was Harry Potter's idea. The mad mage had apparently tagged along on all our adventures in an invisible cloak.  Deep inside the belly of the beast, Purdi ventured into the anu... sorry towards the heart, where the throne or principal demon that inhabited the dragon made "It" 's residence. There, tormented by her worst fears, Purdi went under trial by the demonic entity. Meanwhile the one legged Megazord contended with the beast from the outside, landing blow after blow and learning very quickly how to operate their Zord's as an efficient team. The combined negotiations of Purdi and the beat down by the Megazord team lead to the submission of "It". Buuuut the team wasn't having "It" and reached inside picked him up and crushed him under fist anyways. That was the end of the Dragon God. It was also the end of everything else. The world vanished in a brilliant white light. 
We died. It wasn't glorious or anything. We ended up in a creepy old corpses' house with a bad pun problem. He, however, sent us on an adventure titled "Tale of How Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely". And yes, it was exactly what it sounded like. We all got god-like powers of various kinds and the option to screw one another repeatedly if we so choose. We also went on a very traditional dungeon quest....er....except for the beast we skinned whose skin came alive while one of us wore it in the cold room and tried to bone Jazzy from the inside out, and the random murder of an innocent just for shits and giggles, a wall that was less than helpful with its password clues, and a dragon made of Weedbeam's special stash. There were a lot of spike's and Azreal died a bunch. There was very Gucci treasure but we couldn't take anything back with us on account of being dead. But the Crypt Keeper seemed to have a blast. After our little self reflective adventure we returned back to Middle Earth, but unfortunately for us the timing was bad. A time travelling fast dude and a flying armoured creature were in mid battle, and, well, Scorbono, he.... didn't make it. RIP Scorbono (Dan Benson 1987-2017).  

After that stressful ordeal our heroes nestled in for the night in the town of Valley Hill. In the morning they got to meet some…let’s say interesting town folk. An old man who gave them a key, a thief looking for his partner, a time-traveling old man who lost a little boy, and a creeper named Biff who Jazzy had sex with without any questions.

Azrael also ran into a masturbating fire imp in an alley way named Angus Firefuck, who ended up joining our team, but not without burning someone alive which also led to the Inn they were staying at becoming a pile of ashes. But, after all that the team realized that Damian and Michael went missing. Our heroes (some reluctantly) decided to search for them. Inside the creepy-as-shit woods around the town was a creature lurking in the shadows, which some at the time could not see. It led them wandering in the woods toward a nestle of trees that all had holiday themes. After possibly destroying Easter and Jesus, they found the key they had worked in the Christmas Door.

They all hopped in searching for answers and what they found was Christmas Town. Jazzy, her usual clumsy self, fell down a manhole into a sewer and took Purdii and Azrael with her. The other ones (Angus, Trixie and Lydia) went for a walk down a suburban street where they found a little boy who was holding Michael captive in a house on that street. After a few unsuccessful attempts to get into the house they finally made it through the back door (Giggity). Little did they know the house was filled with traps.

As they went through the house, they realized how messed up this kid really is. He kept all is relatives (who are all dead) posed in positions around the house so they can never leave him alone again. They went through the house and found Michael tied to a chair surrounded by broken glass. Angus freed him by floating over there untying him. The boy would creepily make an appearance now and then to explain his….situation, with threatening undertones.

They made their way up the stairs and at the top was the thief’s partner, found in a pool (literally) of blood and he was reduced to nothing but a stump. Marv  (The thief) came to rescue his partner (Harry) but before out “heroes” could do anything Kevin (The Boy) slit their throats. Kevin lunged after them. Trixie through Happy Slime at Kevin and he was subdued. The last image Kevin saw was of his Mom, coming home to him one last time…before our heroes murdered the shit out of him.

Meanwhile in the sewers, Azrael, Jazzy and Purdii walk through a dank and smelly sewer, Purdii and Jazzy decided to separate from Azrael and he was left to fight off some cute armless snowmen all by himself.


Purdii and Jazzy eventually find Damian tied up and they set him free. After a bit of wandering they find an old friend. Well, two old friends. My Hanky and the shit demon Scorbono fought merged into one huge monster. Jazzy at this point fainted at the sight and Purdii was forced to fight Mr. Hanky-poo-demon-man-thing all alone. He taunted her that Scorbono was dead, and Purdii followed suit by using her fire sword and slashed right through him, turning him into poo dust. Azrael finally caught up and they noticed a pentagram on the wall. They marked it and the wall broke open, and on the other side came out a bunch of Woodland Christmas Critters…who then sacrificed a rabbit to Satan.

After which they high-tailed it out of there. All of them met up the middle of Christmas Town. Where they all confronted a creature called Slender Jack.

He quickly subdued them. Just as our heroes thought they were all dead, The man who gave them the key appeared and revealed himself to be Ebenezer Scrooge, now a spirit himself. He had full control of Jack. Jack lets you all up to listen to what Scrooge has to say. He told them the following:

 “A long time ago I was visited by 3 spirits…technically 4 but who is counting? They showed me my foolish, selfish ways and I realized that they were right, or else I would have to live an afterlife dragging heavy chains for all eternity. Well, tonight was no different for all of you. You had to deal with 3 such beings yourselves. A being from your past. Showing you that you cannot dwell on the past. You can only learn from it, and move on. A being from that was as present as ever. Reminding you that you must adapt and avoid…traps…in your life, should they pop up. As they do, and they are very unpredictable. And of course, this scary son of a bitch named Jack. He is here to say that sometimes, you all cannot see what the future brings, and for those who think they might are not always accurate. You see, the spirits taught me, before I became one myself, that I should keep Christmas in my heart, all of the year, and they were right. Not the religious part or the presents, the kindness toward our fellow man….and women…and weird creature hybrid things.”

That’s when Doc Brown (The Time Traveler from before) is revealed as one of the ones who set up this whole thing. Doc and Scrooge then boarded Doc’s Tardis (Time Train) and flew off into the sky.

Our heroes suddenly wake up in their beds. Seeming like it was all a dream. But it wasn’t…at least not entirely. They woke up to a Christmas trees in the inn (which was no longer burned down.) which had all of their items and cash they earned inside presents under it.

 

Angus woke up to The Flash standing at the foot of his bed. He informed Angus about the death of one of his teammates called Cyborg. His arm was all that remained. But if given to another user, it could carry on the Cyborg Legacy. Angus accepted and is now a Cyborg. The Flash informed him that he will be back to recruit him and the rest for his battle with Darkseid.

Jazzy also woke up to something different. Scorbono appeared in his new force-ghost-like form. To give Jazzy one final message:

Scorbono: Hi Jazz. Don’t be sad. Don’t worry about me. I am not in pain anymore. They got tons of Beer up there. And Porn, lots of Porn. I’ll be ok. You will be ok. You are strong. You got friends all around you. They don’t just see you as a friend. You are family. But…if you feel you need me…you know that coin of mine I left behind? Well that coin can be used to Summon me if you need some help. I will always be around. To laugh at all the stupid shit you guys do. Goodbye Jazz.

Then he fades away. And for the first time in a while, It’s almost as if you got a restart. A new beginning, a way to pave the road for a new adventure.


Papaya Island, home to the World Martial Arts Tournament held mostly annually, and the home of the last leg of the guild tournament. We finally made it! Through zombies, thieves, time travelers, Donald Trump, Kevin Mccallister, and Dragons. We finally made it.

After some training, we get right into it. Our first opponents are none other than the others who have tagged along in the background of our group. It was a rough battle. Most of us got knocked out. It was bound to happen. There can be only one winner of the prize: the Mirror Gear, and $200,000! Let's just cut to the results:

-Winner of the Guild Competition and Mirror Gear: Trixzi Silverpunch
-Winner of the World Martial Arts Tournament: Hercule! OK just kidding. It was Mitch Matthews.

“This IS the darkest timeline. I have proof!”  Will circles the tip. “I suspect the Lord of Darkness resides here, since this town is just such a horrible place to live. Like, seriously. When you get a chance ask about the dogs.”


Will was the guy we travelled to the town of Liberal with and he had a theory - we were living in a dark timeline, controlled by a dark lord who had every intention of fully materializing and reigning in chaos and blood. To prove it, he drew the window shades open and we witnessed the evisceration of Tinker Bell right before our eyes, and a whole town of people walking about like this was a normal every day occurrence. 

Will's words prompted us to travel from Liberal and down the coast to see exactly what he meant. First we stopped off in the town market to get supplies, as per usual, and paid a visit to the town's prominent university where at the department for paranormal research we had a chance to meet four keen bright minds that gave some tips and some technology that may help us BUST SOME GHOSTS!

In the coastal caves, we discovered the bodies of hundreds of dead dogs from the town, dogs nobody even grieved over anymore, and sacrificial altars and a dark demonic entity that reacted only to the presence of light - all of this giving credence to Will's assertion that we were indeed in the darkest timeline. The sickest part though? Will WAS the demon. Well, it's a little more complicated than that but in order to stop the demon we had to stop Will. And that turned out to be a mistake. 3 sacrifices of innocent blood are required, and in our run and gun hero mode we just so happened to provide the first sacrifice for the Lord of Darkness ourselves in the act of killing Will to stop the demon. How do you like them apples?

Will provided us a map. 2 more dark places, two more sacrifices. Hopefully we don't make the same mistake twice....

Make a free website with Yola